Maintaining Your Pride and Joy: The Monthly Deep Clean Ritual

Never, ever wash a car in direct Aussie sun if you can help it. The soap dries too fast and leaves spots. If you've gotta do it outside, get up early or wait until the arvo when the sun's lower.

Give the whole car a good rinse with cold water. You want the panels cool to the touch before you chuck any chemicals on there.

I always do wheels while the rest of the car is dry. If you do them last, you'll get dirty water flicking back onto your clean paint.

Spray your iron remover on dry wheels. Let it sit for 2-3 minutes until it turns purple (that's the reaction with the iron). Agitate with a brush and rinse thoroughly. Don't forget the wheel arches, give 'em a good blast to get the mud out.

If you've got a foam cannon, use it now. Cover the car in thick foam and let it dwell for 5 minutes. This softens the dirt so it slides off without you having to scrub. Rinse it off from the bottom up, then top down.

One bucket with soapy water, one with clean rinse water. Dip your mitt in the soap, wash a panel, then rinse it in the clean water bucket before going back for more soap. Start from the roof and work down.

While the car is soapy, take your soft brush and go around the badges, window rubbers, and the fuel filler flap. You'd be surprised how much green gunk builds up there.

Once a month, I like to hit the lower panels with a bit of iron remover or tar remover. If you've been driving near roadworks or the beach, this is where you'll see the most benefit.

Lay your large microfibre towel flat on the roof and just pull it towards you. Don't scrub. Use a bit of quick detailer spray as a drying aid to add a bit of lubrication and shine.

Open all the doors. Use a vacuum (or a leaf blower if you're feeling lazy, no judgment here) to get the loose stuff out. Pull the floor mats out and give them a proper bash against a wall.

Use your APC on a microfibre cloth to wipe down the dash, door cards, and centre console. I once saw a mate use baby wipes on his leather seats, don't do that. The oils in them can actually rot the stitching over time.

Clean the inside and outside of the windows. Use two cloths: one to apply the glass cleaner and one dry one to buff it off. This prevents streaks when you're driving into the sun the next morning.

Apply your 303 or similar protectant to the dash and plastic trim. Our sun is brutal, and this is the only thing standing between your dash and a nasty crack. Wipe it on, let it sit for a minute, then buff it dry so it's not shiny or greasy.

Apply a water-based tyre shine. I prefer a matte or satin finish. The cheap greasy stuff at the servo flicks off and marks your paint as soon as you hit 60km/h.

Walk around with a fresh microfibre and buff off any missed spots. Check the door jambs, if they're still wet, wipe 'em down. It's the little details that make it look professional.