How to Properly Shift Thick Mud and Red Dust Without Trashing Your Paint

Never, ever wash a muddy car in direct Aussie sun. The soap will dry, the mud will re-harden, and you'll end up with nasty water spots. If you don't have a carport, wait until the arvo when the sun's low.

If you've just driven home, your bonnet will be hot. Give the whole car a quick mist with water just to bring the surface temp down so your chemicals don't flash dry.

Walk around and see where the heaviest chunks are. Look for bird droppings too, these need to be softened early because they'll eat your paint in this heat.

If you've got dry red dust inside, vacuum it out *before* you start getting the outside wet. Humidity from the wash makes dust stick to the dash like glue.

Fill 'em up. One with clean water, one with your soap. Use a decent amount of lubrication, don't be stingy with the shampoo.

Before adding water, if there are massive 'elephant ears' of mud in the arches, give 'em a gentle tap with a plastic scraper or just a gloved hand to drop the bulk of it.

Get under there first. Use your underbody broom or a 45-degree wand attachment. You want to clear the chassis rails and suspension components before you clean the body, otherwise, you'll just spray mud back onto your clean panels later.

Spray a heavy degreaser into the arches. Let it sit for 2-3 mins (don't let it dry), then blast it out. Repeat until the water runs clear. Most people stop too early here.

Rinse the whole car from the top down. You’re not trying to get it perfect, just getting the loose grit off. (Actually, wait, if it's that fine red dust, sometimes it's better to go straight to foam, but for chunky mud, rinse first).

Coat the entire car in a thick layer of foam. I reckon Bowden's Snow Blow is great, but for heavy dirt, I use Bilt Hamber. Let it dwell for 5-8 minutes. It should look like the car is wearing a marshmallow suit.

While the foam is dwelling, use your soft brush to agitate the foam in the cracks: around the badges, fuel door, window seals, and the grill. This is where red dust hides for years.

Blast the foam off. You'll see the brown sludge running off the car. Start from the bottom and work up for the first pass (weird, I know, but it keeps the chemicals working longer), then a final rinse from the top down.

Now you can actually touch the car. Dip your mitt in the soap, wash a panel, then rinse the mitt in the plain water bucket. Work in straight lines, never circles. (Made this mistake on a black Commodore years ago, swirl city).

Once rinsed, spray an iron remover on the lower half of the car. If you've been in red dirt, it'll likely turn purple as it reacts. This is pulling the metallic red dust out of the pores of the paint.

Get all those chemicals off. Be thorough. Check the door jambs, mud always sneaks in there.

If the paint still feels rough, use a clay mitt with plenty of soapy water as lube. This picks up the last of the embedded grit.

Use your big microfibre towel. Lay it flat and pull it towards you. Don't 'scrub' the car dry. If you have a leaf blower, use it to blast water out of the wing mirrors and light housings.

Clean the outside glass with a dedicated cleaner. Mud often leaves a film that'll smear the first time you use your wipers in the rain.

After all that work, don't leave the tyres looking grey. Use a water-based dressing. I hate the greasy silicone stuff; it just attracts more dust the second you hit a gravel road.

Apply a spray sealant or a quick wax. This makes the mud much easier to wash off next time. It's like a non-stick frying pan for your car.